Religious view of life . . . Satire

TAOISM                    Shit Happens.

CONFUCIANSISM       Confucious say:
                                " Shit Happens. "

BUDDHISM                If shit happens, it really isn't
                                shit.
            
ZEN                         What is the sound of shit
                               happening ?

HINDUISM                This shit happened before.

ISLAM                      If shit happens, It is the will of
                               Allah.

PROTESTANTISM     Let shit happen to someone
                                else. "

CATHOLICISM           If shit happens, you deserve
                                it.
         
JUDAISM                   Why does shit always happen
                                  to us ?

ATHEISM                   I don't believe this shit.

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And one final one I heard by a comedian named " Bert Henry " . . . I don't know whatever happened to him, he was an-almost-big-time comic, who got lost somewhere in the pile of stand-up Lenny Bruce clones in the 50's ( right about TV becoming something in every home ).

I tried to google him to no avail . . . I used to have an LP of his I got from an ad in the back of "ADAM" MAGAZINE, Another of the Playboy copy-cats that never caught on. 

Anyway, Bert would ask his nightclub audience: " Do you know the difference between a NORTHERN Baptist and a SOUTHERN Baptist ? "

He would explain: " A NORTHERN Baptist says, THERE AIN'T NO HELL  - - -

And a SOUTHERN Baptist says, THE HELL THERE AIN'T !


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" You are alone and all one, at the same time. "

Dr. Wayne Dyer
PSYCHOTHERAPIST, AUTHOR, PHILOSOPHER

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